In the public school system, everything must have educational value.
Nothing is off limits, including lunch.
The cafeteria is lined with banners displaying the names of all Kentucky colleges.
This is meant to inspire young scholars to pursue a higher education.
Even the food is educational.
Cookies display the names of presidents and interesting facts about them.
Can't you hear the promotional advertising?
SHOULD YOU BECOME PRESIDENT,
YOU TOO CAN HAVE YOUR FACE EMBLAZONED ON YOUR VERY OWN COOKIES!!!
Hello there, President Obama...
The cookie package is even labeled as educational!
Because we know that labeling cookies as educational
will inspire fourth graders.
But somehow the very people trying to inspire my son to greatness
have unwittingly thrust him once again
into the gutters of junior high impropriety.
Who names fourth grade cookies DICK & Jane??????????????????
Is that not stupid?
I recovered from that tidbit of stupidity
only to be flummoxed once again
when my sweet son happily shared the back of his bag of presidential cookies.
Yes, folks. It's true.
You see. Dick and Jane are real people with a real passion for education.
Dick runs a baking company. Jane is a teacher.
Dick likes to run. Jane likes to walk.
Dick likes to run. Jane likes to walk.
And.....
wait for it.....
Dick is allergic to.......what else......
NUTS
Cue the uncontrollable giggling from the fourth grade boys' lunch table.
I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.
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